What You Need To Know.

If there is one thing that I have figured out along the way, it is that people will most likely take well trodden paths to avoid discomfort. I do not exclude myself entirely from this slice of the population, although I have certainly not lived a ‘what if’ life. The truth is everyone will give you the least amount of grief if you simply behave yourself, adapt to your station in life and consume until it kills you. Most everyone is committing consensus suicide, in a slower herd fashion casually heading for a cliff, rather than the quick messy and typically painful solo variety. The herd suicide is just as messy and painful, it is just spread out over generations to ease the burdensome load.

The truth is so rarely spoken anymore. Those with the testicular fortitude to voice opposition to power and mass delusion are quickly escorted to the fringe where they are kept out of sight, and out of mind. It feels like the big nasty heartless machine that it has become. The outdoors feels exotic in these times of wireless wired up electronic mind addictive communication and entertainment. Communication has become one dimensional avatar ‘friends’ who type ‘lol’ more often than they take in breaths. Entertainment sex and violence have become so mainstream that you can hardly tell the difference between television and actual three dimensional people trying to live up to their plastic disposable flavor of the week role model.

As dummied down and predictable as the societal script has become you dream and anxiously await your chance to jump into the flow of spotlighted moments where you get the attention of some poor pedestrian that forgot to avert their eyes and ears. Do you have any clue how people scramble to avoid hearing your tightly clenched tattered script? There is nothing special about your pain and suffering. It is the common self-consumed trappings of someone that thinks the universe is tilted on its axis at the center of their brain. Your fiction is so completely predictable and repetitive that anyone risks brain cells withering should they pay attention. You know what I mean, because you avoid having to hear anyone’s verbal shit storm just as much as the next warm body in line.

You have spent your whole life and thousands upon thousands of dollars trying to look like and act like what they prop up as the ‘beautiful’ people. Who do you think decides who is cool and who is attractive and who isn’t? The people selling you the face paint, the too tight clothes, the next miracle diet, and any other shiny object that catches your short attention span. Who are you kidding? Not me. You are too fat, too short, too ugly and too stupid to realize that everyone is ‘too’ something. No one really looks like those people, and the ones that do are so obsessed with time and gravity that any chances of a meaningful life are forgotten the first time they see their reflection in a mirror. Get over the fact that you are not perfect and are only attractive from a distance in poor lighting.

Has there ever been a more annoying monologue than listening to someone go on endlessly about their lack of a love life, the end of their love life, or the betrayal of love in their life? You would think with the minuscule winning track record of love on this planet people would have given up on it a long time ago. Women are pissed off because men don’t act and think like they do. Men are pissed off because women do not act and think like they do. Neither wants to look for love in the same gender – which is the only place they are going to find a lover that acts and thinks like they do. I gave up trying to understand women when I was still in diapers. All I ever expected of a lover, be it a woman or a man, was that they had a rudimentary understanding of the logistics of genitalia, the wisdom to appreciate silence when it was ideal, and the sense of humor that should accompany decaying flesh excreting disgusting fluids.

Stop trying to get someone to be the better half, other half or half assed codependent in your terrestrial nightmare. If you are not capable of being complete unto yourself, then you have no business dragging anyone into your neediness quicksand. Everyone carries a siphon and wants to take a long drag off the emotional jugular these days. You are the lowest of junkies – not satisfied with your own addiction to victimhood and martyrdom -  you need to spread that soul numbing lack of will to everyone that is lulled into your siren call of mediocrity. Go form a club and bore each other to tears with your sob stories and scarred psyches.

And why do you just sit there like a neutered dog on a porch waiting for its master to walk by and hopefully give it a pat on the head? I am amazed at the last few generations passivity. Am I the last rebel that said ‘to hell with this bullshit’ and hit the open road for discovery? I hear life’s losers every day dreaming of all the things they are going to do when they win the lottery, but can’t muster up the will or drive to clean their houses. Evolution is passing you by. You are not even trying to keep up anymore. You have bigger bags under your eyes than you do between your legs. Was life so difficult that impotence seemed the best alternative?

Yes you were misled. Everyone was and still are being misled. That big brain is supposed to help you think for yourself. Mind you, no one is going to show you how to do that. Society is designed to keep the wealthy out of reach, and the poor reaching for a broom. You did not evolve this far to be a model consumer. You were not afforded that huge brain to fill it up with styrofoam words, labels and definitions. Why do you think your brain gets so bent out of shape if other people’s blah blah blahs don’t match up with its blah blah blahs? Because it is all bullshit! You are an addict of doing things ass backwards. You know this…when has ‘borrowed’ knowledge ever worked for you? Wisdom comes from making mistakes and learning from them. You got the mistake part down perfectly…

Yes I know I was all of those people mentioned above, and in some cases still am to a certain degree. But I never stayed still long enough for life to become conclusive or static. Why am I so different than the average citizen? Did I just do my homework earlier and better in past lives? Here is my confession…I look upon the unconscious Self as entertainment. It is the only way I can stomach the hopelessness of watching people that have become so passive in life. We did not arrive here by waiting for awareness to be handed out to us like shabby beggars on the street. We stuck our necks out. We found the will to place one foot in front of the other. We initiated activity.

The active part of you is desperately tired of your empty gestures. The active part of you is hungry for the storyline that saw you go through the darkest of ages and claw your way to this shining moment where the end of the journey is so close at hand. The active part of you has a thirst for you to drop these idiotic scripts that have your mind and your will tied up in knots of immobility. The passive part of you is fat in the ass and thick in the skull. What it does has never worked, isn’t working, and never will work. Put down the remote. Put down the empty calories that you stuff your holes with. Put away the notion that there is anything new, interesting, immediate, important or needed in your waste-of-this-life script. I know you can feel it. You know we are near the end. You will not cross that line and you will have to come back or parasite off of the living – much like you are presently doing with this life.

What you need to know is this…either you are part of the emerging Self awareness, or you are in the way of it. I am digging in my heels making wider, more affective boundaries. I do not want your poison in my midst if you have no intention of waking up. I am not here to entertain you. An opportunity like this does not come around for the vast majority of incarnated here. If you spent even half the amount of energy that you prop up and defend your lies with working on waking up you would have been there last lifetime. And don’t be offended by anything that is written here. There is a reason that I blow the fiction up to absurd heights. I have been the defendor of the dream most of my life. What time I have left I intend to tear it down for as many who will listen to me as I am able to. That is what you need to know.

~ DC Vision

The Spiritual Path

There is no spiritual path. There is only your awareness in this moment. It determines what you are capable of experiencing – the percentage of truth that you can discern. Everyone that has a similar awareness you will see, and you will hear. We call that resonance. You will not resonate with people who have an awareness much lower than your own, and you will not see or hear someone with an awareness much higher than your own.

You will resonate with what has been created by another with a similar awareness. A book that was written by someone with a much higher awareness will not resonate with you today. You might still find it, but the words will seem like gibberish for the most part. Pick up the same book at a later date, having evolved to a higher awareness, and the same book will become digestible and perhaps contain the words needed to help you presently. Look back to the things you were attracted to when you were younger. Do you notice a natural progression in your tastes in music, literature and movies? This is because of your expanded awareness. Those who do not grow spiritually never outgrow the taste of their youth. Songs, movies and books I liked as a kid for the most part have me wondering why I ever saw any value in them.

You do not do anything to evolve. Evolution happens to you, not by you. It is a natural unfolding process or expansion of hearing and seeing…and comprehension of what is being experienced. The items and people that suddenly appear because your awareness expanded were there all along. You simply did not see them or hear them. Now, with a higher awareness you suddenly have items and people come into your experience. This seemingly forward progress into experiences that expand your awareness feels like a path, taking place over time, when in reality it is only you now…and now…and now capable of being aware of new things that you presently resonate with.

The expansions are cyclic. There are times when you get a rush of epiphanies, new experiences and abilities. Those times I refer to as ‘high tide’. There are times when new awareness is being assimilated into your aggregate awareness. Those times I refer to as ‘low tide’. The high tides is when you feel like you are doing something right to progress along the path. The low tides is when you feel like you are slacking behind and should be doing something to help yourself along the path. The truth is it is the low tides that the work is being done to you – not by you, but to you. The payoff is a new high tide once the present awareness of the last high tide has been assimilated. The awareness gets assimilated by being attracted to new experiences, people and items that resonate with you. Once you understand, or discern your new awareness, then the next new awareness becomes available through a new high tide.

All you are ever doing is playing catch up to your present awareness. Once you have caught up the eyes and ears expand again. You never did anything to attract those people, experiences and items into your awareness. They were there all along. The only thing you can ever really do is try and discern what the people, experiences and items are saying to you, or showing you. What is your present awareness of what resonates with you presently? Learning to be aware of these expansion of awareness cycles can make the difference between strolling down the fictional spiritual path, or being dragged by the hair.

The Script

The first line in the script is the name that was chosen for you. The next line is most likely the words ‘mommy’ & ‘daddy’. Following the introductions comes the word ‘no’. You likely heard that word quite a bit, and discovered your familial boundaries by testing what actions got a ‘no’. The first few paragraphs of the script were single words, defining and outlining your immediate environment and the people, pets and safe objects that populated it. This is the physical level of Self awareness. Reality was defined for you, not by you, by characters that were repeating the same labels and definitions that they inherited.

Turn the page. The script has now moved from physical awareness to emotional awareness. The senses have kicked in and are functioning well. The environment has for the most part been recognized and labels established. The external world is for the most part safe and predictable. The focus shifts from external reality to internal reality. The job of script writer shifts from external characters to the internal dreamer. The word ‘no’ shifts from a demand placed upon you to a challenge placed back upon the ones that first uttered the word. Now you challenge your boundaries but fight back when you are denied. The dance of relationship begins, with love and hate and all their cousins becoming coexistent drivers of the internal dreamer.

The dreamer knows nothing of established behavioral patterns. These ‘reactions’ to external stimuli are cemented into the brain the first few years of a dreamer’s life, and yet are experienced each new situation as a brand new line in the script. The dreamer rarely catches the echo of established behavioral responses. Your emotions and inherited beliefs rule your actions while you dream. All the while your emotional life is being brought together like the ingredients of a chemical soup, you will continue to have your script modified by those who are assigned to ‘teach’ you everything that is needed to make you a model citizen and consumer.

Turn the page. Puberty is a storyline that is tough as hell to get through. This is because two things are in contradiction to each other, and are happening simultaneously. The emotional awareness that you thought you had under tight scripted control is being evolved into intellectual awareness…problem is, your sex organs are also evolving into a beast with a mind of its own and are having complete control over the emotions you thought you had figured out. Is it any wonder puberty is such a ride when the physical, emotional and emerging intellectual awarenesses are all jockeying for position as head script writer? The confusion of the conflicting emotions and intellect, followed by an out of control sexual appetite guarantee most of us never recover fully until adulthood…if at all…and by then careers, spouses and children have eliminated the evolution process for most people for decades to come.

By the time survivors of life reach their middle ages they have been beaten to passivity by bills, bullshit and bodies melting into gravity. The script most dreamers carry at this point in life is little more than a laundry list of schedules, routines, escapism via the internet  and favorite television shows. Addictions are hardened to the point of shiny diamonds, and change is not a welcomed visitor. Most die with the information they managed to absorb in high school. People are just not taught to learn over a lifetime. Most everyone is prepared to become a model citizen and smile and nod their way through decades of indebtedness, cultural rituals and the meek acceptance that death is the blessed reward that allows escape.

This the script of billions of your neighbors. Some however, with progressive lifetimes under their belt will be introduced at any point in their adult life to either science, religion, spirituality or philosophy…and it will create a thirst at the center of their awareness. It will potentially satiate the physical, dance with the emotional, and counsel the intellectual awarenesses inherent within. Out of this calling rises a phoenix, a dreamer taking their first yawn in the early dawn…not quite awake, but not deep asleep either. This is the time that you first become aware of the script – that historical self that you are being called to evolve from. Depending on your aggregate lifetimes’ awareness, it will either be a hobby, a novelty, a stature enhancer, a financial gain, a calling or a realization realized.

No matter which numbered lifetime you are residing in, all of them point to Self awareness. So if not this time around, then there will be other rebirths. That is the promise held – evolution has brought us from pond scum to prefrontal lobes…and very soon beyond. You cannot go in quantum leaps – it must be baby steps in order to be assimilated. If you are waking up to your script then there is nothing for you to do. Evolution happens to you, not by you. Enjoy the ride, and do not get too caught up.  Everyone is not equipped to cross the finish line this time around. It is what it is.

~ DC Vision

The Unconscious Creator

It is not he who thinks the most that awakens, it is he that awakens that gets to think clearly. Memorizing words is a habit. Our educational system is built upon that habit. Our employment perpetuates that same habit of no original thinking required. It is a habit that unconsciously removes the Self from awareness of its existence. It is brains doing all the living, getting all the fringe benefits and collecting all the paychecks.

The Self does not live by words. The Self does not pump the oxygen. The Self does not break down other sentient bodies and make them into food fuel. The Self does not pump the heart, blink the eyes, excrete the wastes, or do the dishes. The Self only gets a ride in this dream if not awake. It is the body’s dream. The Self does not get to play a leading role in this production whatsoever.

For the Self, creation is and has always been by default. It does not get to choose its environment, its body or the nature of its role in either. It is a passenger in a warm body wielding a script written by inheritance. It loves to believe it has free will, but if it is not given the option of its form or placement in an environment, what else is it unaware of that it is forced to deal with not by choice, but by simply being what it is – unconscious? What are the implications of the fact that the Self has zero input into reality while it still slumbers away as passive witness?

Does the Self have a choice to stop the heart by willing it to? Does the Self regulate the breaths? Can the Self stop the digestive process in mid sentence? Can the Self decide which red blood cells go to which artery at which time? Or are these inner workings all by default? Are they programmed or part of a program? Is the Self the designer or part of the design? Science does not know the answers to these questions except on the basest mundane level. There are ‘unconscious’ activities that the brain unconsciously oversees – who or what decided this? Who made who? Who or what decided what worked and incorporated it into the final product?

You would think given the last two paragraphs that I am a closet deist. It is very difficult to read those words and not come away at least questioning one’s beliefs regarding a god. The end product is after all intelligent, machined by intelligence, operating by some form of intelligence, and programmed to expand in intelligence – not by the Self – do you consciously direct this existence? Certainly not by the brain or body. Do you think there is any awareness of how all this intelligence is done by your body’s brain? Or is it just a matter of the brain doing what it does because that is what it was designed to do?

Many billions of years ago there were only simple plant life. The atmosphere was almost entirely carbon dioxide. Plants flourished for some time. Trouble arose when the atmosphere got depleted of carbon dioxide and began to get immersed with oxygen – the waste product of plants cycling of fuels, which also happened to be poison to those plants. Some time later life would be extinguished except that along came a new branch of species that consumed oxygen as part of their break down of fuels – and bonus behold, their waste product was carbon dioxide…thus assuring the future of all species. Pretty smart adaptation in the nick of time…by who or what? Certainly not the plants – they are kind of dumb in the scheme of things. Couldn’t have been the new species…they were new after all.

The essay so far would really lead one to an amen moment and have one’s Saturdays or Sundays planned out for life – depending on which faith one embraced. Critical thinking shines a light on the little details, though. The designer it would seem is always playing catch up, which kind of deflates the idea of an all knowing deity. In fact, changes in creation seem to exclusively be byproducts of creation. Necessity seems to be the mother of invention and creation. Even in your simplest of forms, your needs are what created your reality and your evolutionary mutations.

This is the stuff that dreams are made of. There is no god directing this amazing reality. It is not a conscious designer that is manufacturing all that is. The Self has been the unconscious creator of creation since the very beginning when the first quantum events became repeatable and sustainable. As the Self dreamed, its needs – stability, survival, fuel, mobility, senses, location, etc etc etc – created the ‘things’ that made up the dream. All things are what the Self needed to exist and experience and evolve in awareness. Separate bodies, an environment in which to experience, and a way to store all those memories of those experiences lifetime to lifetime.

Everyone would agree I would imagine that this is an amazing universe…an amazing creation. Now add the possibility that the creator of all this did it – and continues to do it – unconsciously, and the word ‘amazing’ does not even begin to describe the miracle. We are evolving to where our creating of our dream will be a conscious endeavor. There is a talent for contemplation and critical thought that needs to be developed by you – the act of thinking about the mechanics of the dream, instead of passively thinking about your role in the dream. It is not he who thinks the most that awakens, it is he that awakens that gets to think clearly.

~ DC Vision

High (Anxiety) Awareness

I have likely met a million people in this life during all of the travels and adventures, not to mention the hundreds of students I have worked with and thousands of healings that I have done. I have always had a gregarious personality. That is, until I woke up. Since awakening I have progressively become more isolated as my comfort level around people has diminished. I have noticed that amongst the people I have worked with over the years, the closer they get to awakening the more hermetic they become. What I previously have heard was that the mystics and strict adherents to any discipline nearly always found their cave or mountaintop to withdraw to away from the world in the end, so it seemed a natural part of the process.

My social anxiety had gotten so bad that I began to feel shameful because I was awake after all. Why was I not able to maintain some semblance of control over myself? But exponentially, the more awake I became, the more ‘fear’ I exhibited towards people. The usual advice of ‘placing a white light around me’ or other such spiritual practices to shield oneself simply did not work for me. It was not until recently that I finally decided I needed to contemplate on this phenomena and see if I could get some answers.

As soon as I objectified the anxiety the answer popped into my awareness. The issue with subjectively experiencing the anxiety was that I and others were taking ownership of it. But anxiety as with all fears is a body reaction to its environment. What was the body suddenly afraid of once the Self began its awakening process? One of the beneficial effects of waking up is a much greater, more present awareness of one’s surroundings and people that one comes into contact with.

The problem for the body is that the awakening Self’s primary sense is not the physical body’s organs. The Self primarily senses through itself, extending past the skin of the body. We have always referred to this as the aura, which may in fact be our ‘sixth sense’, although it is in reality the Self’s first sense. The body of course relies on sight, hearing, taste, smell & touch. The Self is able to see (clairvoyance), hear (clairaudience), taste (clairgustance), smell (clairaliance) & touch (clairsentience) – not within the body passively, but out into the environment proactively.

The brain needs reality to be both safe and predictable. It passively senses the world, then retrieves information from past experiences and either designates a situation ‘safe’ or suggests a course of reaction. The brain does not know how to sense actively, or how to process ‘real’ information. All it knows is the reactionary will of its nature. The Self knows – the brain guesses. The brain only needs safe & predictable, or the illusion of it to ‘feel’ at ease. The body being forced by an awakening Self to sense through its metaphysical abilities is a very uncomfortable brain indeed.

To the brain this heightened awareness is mysterious and thus unpredictable, and potentially unsafe. The brain often times is way off in its ability to correctly ascertain people’s motives or demeanor. At the same time the brain is flagging another person as potentially dangerous, the Self is drawn to them in resonance. This means you, the Self, have a brain at times disagreeing with your perception of a situation. The brain’s only defense against this awakening ‘sixth’ sense is to simply designate everyone and everything as potentially dangerous. The result of this is varying degrees of anxiety.

There are many in my family that suffer from social anxiety, but show no signs of awakening any time soon. But these conditions are generally traceable from youth. My social anxiety only appeared when I neared awakening, and has increased exponentially over the course of the past years as I have explored being awake. You will have to ascertain your own situation as to whether your anxiety is purely a genetic inheritance, a symptom of some trauma in your life, or like me it emerged only after a spiritual calling and heightened sense of awareness. You may also be experiencing a much more benign level of anxiety as I am. One can imagine it is different for everyone.

I can go out in public as I must do on occasion to do my shopping and be very much at ease amongst other people. It is only prior to the shopping trip that I actually feel any fear. That is the brain imagining all the horrors that I will encounter along the way. I do not have any answers on how to stop the anxiety aside from withdrawing from people to the degree that you are capable of. This essay was not meant to be a cure. The symptoms are shared by many in these times of awakening. I can tell you that once you are out in public it is never as scary as the brain imagines it will be.

Hopefully knowing the mechanics of your own social anxiety will in the least let you know that it is a normal phenomena of awakening, that you are not alone and that others likewise have not found many answers in traditional medicines or spiritual fixes. Do not be discouraged if people give you advice that simply does not work. This is not a failure on your part. We are all attempting to figure out these times of transition as we go.

What we can know is this…the reason why ‘protection’ does not work is simply because there is no one and no thing actually attacking you. The anxiety is your brain’s response to Self awareness. If you think that is wrong then ask yourself, why is the anxiety present prior to ever leaving the house? You are not picking up anyone’s energies sitting at home worrying. The brain is anxious because your house is safe & predictable, but the outside world with this heightened sense is not.

~ DC Vision

Body Reactions

Some of you are becoming aware of some of the subtle ways that the separation between the Self and the body are manifesting. Perhaps the most obvious is experiencing your body reacting to different stimuli. You likely do not recall that your body’s reactions used to be your reactions. There was no delineation between what your body felt and who you believed you were.

I have heard more than a few people remark about the funny way the body reacts to situations. The most common sensation is the gut area getting tight with anger or fear. You have always identified these feelings as your reactions to experiences, but you are now coming into that waking experience where the body is objectified and its reactions are separate from you. This may not seem like much, but it is a huge breakthrough in your development.

Experiment with this new found separation. To give an example, my body is very fearful of heights. I can be watching a movie or television program where the actor is suddenly at the edge of a precipice and the body’s gut clenches tightly and there is a wave of vertigo that washes over the nervous system. Think about it…the Self knows it is just a movie, and there that is no danger of me personally falling over that cliff or off of the building, but the body identifies with the body it sees on the screen. I have a similar experience when I see someone hitting the ground hard either by accident or stupidity…the anus clenches and I feel a shudder up my body’s spine. This means that my body has a consciousness separate from my own. It reacts to its environment in completely different ways than I do when assessing situations.

You can especially feel this separation between Self and body watching your favorite sports team in a close scoring game. My whole body gets into fits watching my team play American football every Sunday during season. In fact after the game my body is nearly exhausted from the constant chemicals washing over its nervous system as the leading score changes hand from team to team over the three and a half hours. I used to watch football before I woke up years ago and never noticed that my body was going through convulsions of sorts. All I knew was I felt like hell before, during and after games as I experiences the whole spectrum of emotions that the game induced.

Identification. Can you see what I am getting at here? It might seem silly and simple but from one who knows, this is a sign of definitive progress. Most important these days is to remember that language does matter in helping to bring forth new awareness, so catch yourself saying ‘I’ when you mean ‘the body’. Objectify objectify objectify. Using intent with your language is yet another way to create new awareness and to finally end your identification with the fiction.

~DC Vision

The Present Moment

Ironic, isn’t it…that the only real time is the one time that precious few ever get to witness. Many people talk of the present moment as if they have had a lot of experience with it, but it can only be felt in fleeting moments if one is not awake. The brain is not designed to give any significance to the ever present now. It gathers information unconsciously in the present moment, but the vast majority of its function is to compare what it senses now with what it has stored in memory, so that it can designate an appropriate future action – even if that action is no reaction at all.

Thus is the fate of the casual sleeper of life…reactionary will from a cranial process. Your life is no more in your control than the activity of the heart beating or the in draw of breath. The final decision of action rises to the forefront so that many people believe that they made the choice of their own free will…and yet they are completely unconscious of the brain’s processing during any experience. The brain decides what is pertinent information as it enters from the senses, and then fills in the empty space in between with a virtual environment of sorts.

The obvious answer to ‘how do I experience the present moment?’ is to remove your identification away from the brain. Meditation utilizes this same discipline, but we all know how successful a meaningful meditation discipline has been in your lax hobby of Self awareness. Most would be meditators listen to pretty music and relax until it feels so damned good that they get a gold star in their activity planner. Meditation like all things Westernized these days is a pale shadow of what it needs to be. To be present is going to take a whole lot more than scheduled quiet time in your fabulously laid out zen space. The present moment is very well hidden in your mountain of addictions.

That is the amazement of anyone awake. It was so obvious, and so close at all ‘times’ it is remarkable that anyone can’t see the 800 pound gorilla in the room that is the present moment. This is not about people being wrong or bad, however. The reason it is so well hidden is because you are evolving into wakefulness. The body is not interested in your quest for liberation. It is not being wrong or bad, either. It is simply doing what is in its nature and what is in its self-interest for survival, safety and predictability.

You are going to need your body in order to locate the present moment, so don’t be having disdainful thoughts regarding your body’s stream of consciousness. In order to experience the present moment you have to begin a discipline of actively using your 5 physical senses. This is waking meditation for those who cannot make a dent in the more passive methods. Let’s face it, for the neophyte to novice meditation is really a bore anyways, so you might as well try my suggestions as they lead to interesting experiences. So it is a win-win situation. To be honest, the simple exercises I will get to are a more advanced state of awareness because it requires you to become actively aware of your objectified environment.

Meditation can be initially described as follows: listening, but not hearing…looking, but not seeing…feeling, but not touching. Waking meditation on the other hand requires the opposite approach. I do not want you to be passively aware of your senses. I want you to actively enter your awareness into each sense. We begin with your eyes. Look at each object individually in your environment – focusing, rather than paying attention. Run your fingers over the object and feel its contours, roughness or smoothness, warm or cold temperature, any designs present on it…run your fingers over the design. Feel yourself feeling, while still focused on the look of it.

Take your finger and tunk the object so you can hear what it sounds like. Use various manipulations of it to get it to emit sounds. Hear the sound…focus on it. Look at the object…focus on it. Feel the object…focus on it. As you move about the room feel your feet touching the floor – bare feet while doing waking contemplations is superior. Feel the surfaces of the room through your feet…focus on it. Go from object to object and see it, touch it and feel it. Stand back now and absorb the room you are in. The sounds of it, no matter how subtle. The colors – really look into the colors. Feel everything as you turn around in the center of the room…but this time with your memory from touching it. Feel your memory of the texture, coolness or warmness, roughness or smoothness.

Taste an apple from your memory. Taste your favorite food just from memory. This is you using your brain, and not your brain using you. If you do as I suggested for 30 minutes a day in any room of your choosing – sensually experience it – then you will just have spent 30 minutes in the present moment. You don’t need my saying so – you experienced the moment as it is most alive, colorful, wonderful and vibrant. The colors should practically sing to you in the moment. As you finish interacting with the room, take a moment to feel the whole room at once. Just do it, don’t think about it…feel the whole room at once. Amazing isn’t it?

Some things you might notice if you do this exercise daily…there are no thoughts in the present moment, unless you are actively doing the thinking – such as tasting the apple from memory. That is you doing the thinking, not random prattling thoughts surfacing that you have to either beat down or allow to float around like verbal debris in standard meditation. In the moment with you focused outside of the brain where you are residing, all thought disappears…because you are no longer identifying with the brain, but are focused on an object in the room. The other thing you might notice over the 30 minutes is there is no boredom present. Again, outside of being passive in the skull there is no boredom – it is completely a brain handicap.

If there was ever a time to develop disciplines, exploring and experimenting with the present moment is the ideal place to begin. Let’s start with your environment. Turn off the noise and electronics for an amount of time each day. Brains love to be titillated and entertained when there is no ‘fight or flight’ situations at hand. There are people that are scared to death of silence – mostly because they would be forced to actually listen to that verbal vomit perpetually bubbling in the brain. Their homes always have at least one television going, music playing somewhere, constant cellphone calls and texting going on, and terribly uncomfortable silences between the monologues of household co-inhabitants. The silence will not swallow you up if you spend that quiet time doing the exercise above.

You cannot find the present moment standing on someone else’s stage. Choose your companionship wisely, be it long term or just phone calls and chat rooms. The moment is most obvious when alone…unplugged from electronics and the demands and attention requirements of unconscious people in your life. If you do not have some semblance of peace and quiet in your life for stretches of time then you might as well give up on the idea of ever waking up. Waking up does not happen in a cacophony. It takes discipline and boundaries and determination. Either you really are seeking the present moment, or you have accepted your fate of being a prisoner of the past and future.

It is the Self’s true nature to be present. The body is a stranger in a strange land in the now. It has billions of years programmed into it to be as it is. You are going to have to focus for the present moment to become more than just esoteric words. You are standing like a dope right in the middle of it, right now. It is that easy to break the spell – start now to make space in your life for a discipline of awakening. Or sleep another incarnation away…who should care whether you do but you? I can only point out the obvious. It is neither of our fault if you just are not up to the task. But at least try…

~ DC Vision

Asleep > Enlightenment > Awake

I want you to lay down in a swimming pool. Face down, eyes closed. Let your body sink to the center of the water. Now just float there for a while. Water above. Water below. Water to each side. Water in your body. Breathing water. Not cold. Not hot. Just right. Feel that water until you are the water.

Simply let go of separation and be the oneness of that water. You are the water. You feel one with that water. There is no water. There is no body. There is only you. Undifferentiated. No thought. No up. No down. No time. No space. Just you. Every thing is gone. There is only you being deceived by your brain.

Remain face down. Float to the surface of the swimming pool. Every thing is still one. Your body is still one with the water. Leave it in the center of the pool. You are not the body. Your awareness only – rises face down to the top surface of the pool. Your body, its thoughts, the physical pool and the water in it are all one big amazing oneness.

That oneness in its entirety is now as a whole beneath you. Feel your awareness as just a face. Feel your face lying flush within the water. Leaving the face in the oneness of the pool, pull your Self out of the pool into the empty space above it. Hold this awareness for a little while.

Think ‘I am This’ – and while sensing that big oneness of a pool you just backed out of, think ‘every thing else is that’. Gently lower your awareness back into the face you left on the surface of the pool. Feel the oneness of the water through that face again. Pull your awareness back out of the face and pool and water and be aware that ‘I am This, all else is that’.

For those of you that did experience what I placed before you, I have only three things to say to you to contemplate upon. ‘Asleep’ is being the body in that pool of water. ‘Enlightenment’ is still wearing the face that you left on the surface of the pool. ‘Awake’ is leaving the face, the pool, the water and the body in all their glorious ‘oneness’ behind.

I am This, all else is that. The body is my access to that. I am not my body. Repeat exercise until you no longer identify with the face, the pool, the water or the body that has drowned in the pool.

~ DC Vision

The Limitations of Eastern Thought

Having interacted with the adherents of eastern philosophy for over a decade I can really see how blessed I was in not having my beliefs defined for me prior to having the experiences of my ontological system. My ontological, or belief system is loaded in the moment as I experience. I have never met someone with eastern philosophy beliefs that did not have their understanding front loaded. This means that someone else’s perceptions influenced every label, definition, expression and even experience itself. These seekers were told what to believe before they ever had any experiences to base their beliefs upon. This is a great approach for the passively aware, which let’s face i is the basis of eastern discipline.

The belief that beliefs are somehow the antithesis of awareness is just another example of the attachment to words that most vicarious eastern thinkers are plagued with since the east meets west lovefest began decades ago. There is not a human alive, nor has there ever been one that did not have a belief system. Most are not complete or fully realized, but there is no error in saying that you have beliefs. Beliefs may or may not be based upon experience, and that is where the rub comes in. If you have experienced something then the fashion today is to state ‘I know’ rather than ‘I believe’. Any advanced person will tell you, however, that your perceptions will never stop evolving, so using terms such as ‘I know’ only points to the fact that you do not. Opposition to the word ‘believe’ or ‘belief’ is just another example of the unaware distracting other people from the poverty within themselves.

There is an emergent awareness on this planet presently that begs those who adhere to thousands-of-years-old dusty disciplines to re-examine their present awareness. I can see this so clearly in forums and chats where a group of people are having a conceptual debate, each saying the same thing in essence, but defending their definitions and labels to the point of outright anger. They know their beliefs of oneness or unity are not reflected in this world. Most never have the discipline to ever experience the transpersonal awareness that their beliefs were supposedly born out of, so what they are left with are words, and a brain that loves to hear itself think.

One of the nice things about being an original thinker and undefined experiencer is that I can back up my Self awareness with a language that has presence. The parroted beliefs that many debate endlessly in the spiritual community have no energy driving them. This is because the original experiencer is so far removed from the conversation that all one is left with are empty words not supported by the experience that spawned the words. You can tell the difference immediately between a conceptualist and an experiential person. The conceptualist only has the words and the defense of those words…the experiential person has presence, which can ignite the usage of words, turning language into something much different.

Eastern philosophy for several thousand years has held its own as the pinnacle of human Self awareness. Unfortunately it saw itself as the end all of seeking, exploring and understanding of truth. Earth based external beliefs reliant upon phenomena led to religion’s mystical sects which eventually led to an internal awareness of the Self. The Self has many labels across many factions of Eastern and Western thought. At its primary essence, Self is what you are if you stripped away the body and the world the body creates and lives in. It is the thing, or being that looks out of those eyes. It is not the eyes themselves, and it is for rare people not the thing that discerns what the eyes are seeing. It is just the thing looking. It is for most people not aware of itself. While it sleeps in this passive state the brain does the thinking and decides what reality is.

Asleep, the brain’s interpretation of reality becomes the Self’s reality. The dream self is who you are, or in the least who you believe you are. Truth is your beliefs are really not your own. They are other people’s perceptions of you that you either embrace or struggle with on the stage of life. Most will live and die, live and die, live and die, live and die – on and on and on and on again and again and again – having never known what they were. My ontological system at its core has the separation of the Self – what you are – from the persona – who you are – as the absolute minimum for becoming Self aware. You simply cannot experience Self being the persona. The persona is the body’s script. If you have not in the very least come to an understanding of this duality, then you are not awake – you may be enlightened, but you are not awake. Adherents of Eastern disciplines have not made this crucial separation experientially.

The Self’s awareness is not going to even remotely resemble the Earth, which is just a big stage full of various animated forms. The only way you are going to make the Earth a perfect place to exist upon is if every living thing were to be created inanimate. That is the only true way to end pain and suffering. Humans make up a very small part of the population here. We are the only species capable of an awareness of detachment from the illusion. That means the vast majority of living beings here will continue to eat and rape and use each other. In Eastern thought that is fine as long as you are above the fray. It is the height of arrogance and a natural extension of the caste system that many of these philosophies were born out of.

When asked about the pain and suffering of this world an Eastern disciple is incapable of feeling anything for the less aware. They will return again and again to this idea that suffering is an illusion. For them it is an illusion. For the vast majority it is a reality. That means that this body’s reality is always going to produce pain and suffering for those that are in the body’s awareness. That is always going to be 99.9999999999999999999% of the earth’s population. The only answer to this truth is the Eastern disciple returning to the mantra ‘suffering is an illusion’. In other words, to hell with the suffering majority as long as I can escape it. A true Bodhisattva would want to end the dream for all, not just themselves. The only way to end the dream for everyone is to create a path where the body’s dream is evolved into the Self’s creation…something that will never take place on this Earth, which everyone can see is the realm of animated form and will always be of the body.

Until the Self awakens it is the body that does the perceiving, and that thought leads to creation. The Self has very little input into creation until the prefrontal lobe emerged. Even with the new and improved brain the Self still enters into this world squarely between the ears, because in its deep sleep that is where the body’s primary senses of sight and hearing are located. As long as the Self is seated passively in the brain it will experience itself as the brain and body. It simply does not matter what a persona thinks it is – as long as it is seated in the brain, that is what it is going to subjectively experience. This is where virtually all Selves spend their incarnation. Enlightenment is not going to change the persona’s unconsciousness…it will just be unconscious or asleep in the present moment. Only by awakening can the Self stop being the persona, because the brain and creations of the brain become objects separated from the experiencing Self.

Without that separation awakening is not possible. When the Eastern disciple and Western counterpart enter into a transpersonal meditative state they enter into it as a persona. I do not care how impressive their philosophies sound, or how deep their pockets are that they can pull their experiential findings out of, if they enter into expanded states of awareness as a persona asleep in their brain, then all you are going to hear are the experiences that the brain had, and its interpretation of those experiences. This is the very spot where my ontological system diverges from the Eastern thought…I experienced transpersonal states as the Self, where they experienced them as the brain, or persona. To experience anything you have to be separate from it – this separation is not acknowledged by Eastern thinkers.

Eastern thought believes everything, including Self arises from the one source. This is because they subjectively identify with the brain. When they get to their oneness and non-duality states they still witness thought arising from the void. This is where the subtleties of awareness are most often not seen or contemplated upon because they have been told what to think, how to label it, and how to define it. The irony is is at that moment that they perceive thought arising from the void, they are experiencing this phenomena as the Self. Thought is not arising from the void – it is arising from the brain. As Self for these brief encounters, they are experiencing the brain as a separate thing. Thought is not coming from the void – it is the brain doing what the brain does – having a monologue of free association.

The void cannot think. It is not a conscious thing. It is not pure consciousness that is experienced when transpersonal states of non-duality are attained – it is no consciousness. No consciousness is apparent because no thing has been created out of the void at that level of withdrawal from manifested reality. It is pre-form that is being experienced, where Self is experiencing no thing. However, because the Self is still contained within a body back on the meditation mat, it still experiences the brain’s river of flowing thoughts. Those thoughts if they were truly coming out of the void would most likely not be personally associative. The fact that they do originate in your body’s brain is the reason the thoughts can be recognized as belonging to your personal storyline.

The difference between being awake and being a persona is awake you no longer are subjectively your brain’s internal monologue. Eastern disciples have to sit and do mind numbing repetitive mantras and have their bodies in exactly defined postures in order to maintain a state of no mind. I have this state naturally as an awake Self. Unless I actively think my mind is silent. What this means is I do not hear the monologue taking place because I am no longer seated in the brain. The separation took place for me years ago where the Self is clearly delineated from the body. That monologue in my body’s brain does not end – it is a natural process for the brain – I just do not have to be its audience, or worse yet believe it is me doing the thinking.

You should begin to get a clearer picture of why Eastern thought is so limited. The unity they experienced was because the body is made up of the same subatomic particles as all other bodies. This does not mean that all bodies are one – all bodies, including identical twins are separate unique stand alone things. All Selves are not one either – billions of years diverging and ever pressing into expanded progressive individuality are more than evident. This is what the obsession for the Eastern philosophies boils down to…they identify with the sources, and not what is evolving from them. They face backwards along consciousness’s evolution, not looking forward to where it is headed. They desire escapism from the suffering, not awareness of how to truly end it. You do not end suffering by passively sitting in a lotus position…you just pause your identification to it for the duration of your vacation. Even the most advanced Eastern disciple once they come down off their pile of pillows is going to continue to see their body’s death process.

In the beginning there was only the active principle and the passive principle. Neither by themselves were any thing. But once they came into contact something amazing happened…animated forms arose. The form itself from the passive principle. The animating force from the active principle. You can experience this initial state of being in meditation disciplines where over time you will enter into a state of non-duality…or pre form. Think about that…non-duality not as reality, but as the state prior to any thing being created…no duality because no thing has come out of the void yet. You are not from that void, so you can witness this state of awareness – and if awake, correctly witness it. It is a fool that stands in the body’s dream and believes everything is one. If the fool swung a hammer to his face he will end up in the hospital. The hammer and his face are not one. It is a fool that stands in the body’s dream and believes suffering is an illusion. If the fool steps in front of a speeding truck he will end up in the hospital in a lot of pain.

Your beliefs of unity and the illusion of suffering are absolutely meaningless as long as you are in the body’s dream. These words and your addiction to repeating them are worthless so long as you live the body’s dream. These words might win you debates, but they will also win you another lifetime in another dreaming body. I find Eastern dogma worse than any other ontological system primarily because of its lack of critical thinking at a level of awareness where critical thinking should be a prerequisite. For all its lofty qualities in the end Eastern thought is no better than the lobby level awareness – if it continues to talk the talk but not know how to walk the walk. Once you awaken there is no more necessity for meditation – you become the state you are trying to attain…but it is not a passive state, and never will be.

The Self does not desire to create no thing…it desires to create it’s thing. Some are very close to this becoming their ability. But it will never happen here. This is the body’s thing. Once you get free of that bondage, then the possibilities become infinite. Who besides a passive victim would ever desire to exist within a vacuum? Who aside from the suicidal seek an eternity of nothingness? The Self did not claw its way out of the muck (once it acquired claws) over billions of years just to return to the latent state of the mud at the bottom of the pond. Awaken to what you are…feel the natural inherent drive to explore and experience and create. You will never make this world a paradise. But you can and will envision new realities where you the Self are creator, not ignorance and fear – and certainly not as a passive passenger when you have earned the right over billions of years to take your place in the driver’s seat. Awaken not for the limitations of this world in these bodies…awaken for what is possible next.

That is why the Eastern thought is so limited and why it should be cast aside for the larger view. Like all other belief systems on this planet, there is an ending to their philosophy. There is only a beginning to mine. You can spend an eternity being here now, but until you are capable of doing here now you will never truly know what you are, and what this process was ever about. There is a reason why my ontological system is resonating so strongly with those that find it here online – it is Self evident, and reflects the nature of the Self. It is not rewording and re-envisioning dusty disciplines…it is what is happening right now as we evolve into a new emergent Self awareness.

~ DC Vision

Paradigm Shift

The active and passive principles are the sources or origins of all that is. The active enters the passive and a child is born, consciousness…manifesting as an animated form. The form portion derives from the passive principle. The animating force portion derives from the active principle. You need both for consciousness to be present. This marriage of active and passive principles produces the cause – or Ka, Khrisna, Crestos, Christ, Self, I Am, Witness, etc etc. Everything in the universe is moving along the same lines of evolution, from physical to emotional to intellectual to causal Self awareness. All animated sentient lifeforms fall somewhere on that spectrum of conscious evolution.

Eastern thought got sidetracked by an identification with the passive principle. The folly of this is that it is based entirely upon an erroneous belief of the origin of consciousness, rather than the present awareness of how it manifests. Self has absolutely no desire to return to its latent state of billions of years ago. So focusing on that primal state completely misses the trajectory that it is on right now in this moment. The vast majority of sentient life on this planet is brain deep in the dream, but that does not mean that the dream is not real to sentient life. So long as the brain believes reality is real, the Self is along for that bumpy ride.

Having an awareness of the passive principle is not going to keep you from incarnating again if that awareness is based on a perceptional fallacy. The passive principle is not the source of the Self. The fictional world appears after the marriage of the active and passive principles, not before it. It is simply not true that the passive principle is ‘pure consciousness’. Consciousness arises after the marriage, not before it. The passive principle has no consciousness whatsoever. It is only potential form waiting for a dreamer.

The transpersonal state attained in meditative practices has not been defined or described correctly for thousands of years. The Self  witnessed and was therefor separate from those experiences of ‘oneness’ and ‘non-duality’. The reason it feels like pure consciousness is because you withdrew so far back from the manifest world that you ceased indentifying with it – including the brain. You were still conscious, but you were not conscious of any thing having manifested yet. The world did not change before, during or after your meditation. The body was still back there in lotus position in your home. You simply stopped identifying with it.

Just because you have the ability to perceive where the physical part of the dream originates from does not denote that that origin is somehow the desired state for Self. The passive principle is not a state at all – it is only the origin of bodies. The reason it is experienced as a void is because no thing created out of it is being identified with in transpersonal states. I doubt the Self has any true desire to sit in no thing, doing no thing, being no thing, experiencing no thing and creating no thing. That negates its true nature. Denying that nature is suicide, not attainment of any enlightened state.

The Self does not have the option to witness the active principle as its source. The Self is what it is, or rather what it has evolved to in the moment. You cannot stop being the Self. You can only stop being active. A Self cannot return to its latent state of billions of years ago. Even if you have mastered transpersonal meditation you still are just witnessing the undifferentiated passive principle. But you remain your complete evolved awareness. People like to refer to this state as ‘pure consciousness’, but in truth is it simply a withdrawn state of being placed in ‘pause’ or ‘neutral’. Self awareness evolves only through activity.

Take inventory of what you know of this universe, and what you know of incarnated Self. Does it show any signs that a return to nothingness is what it either desires or is evolving towards? Even while you slept all these billions of years, and bigger more complex brains have had to be devised to hold all your awareness, does it seem inactivity and aversion to creating have been evolution’s goal? These current big brains seem to me to have been designed to wake us up – to make us conscious creators aware of the fact that the body’s reality was not our reality once awakened. At the very core of what you are, which sounds more appealing – being no thing or creating something awake?

That is the true irony of the paradigm shift – the East meets West neophytes suppose it to be a return to unity & oneness, when in fact it is a recognition of there being two separate sources for all that is, and ceasing to identify with the passive side of the equation. That will be what sets us free to explore and experience the Self as a free agent of free will and conscious creativity. Oneness is an absurd delusion to anyone with critical thought. There has never been, nor will there ever be any representation of oneness in creation – that state is billions of years long gone – prior to the active and passive principles’ first meeting. A non-differentiated source does not equal a non-differentiated present day reality. The subatomic particles that make up matter are not equal to the final manifestion.

~ DC Vision

The Historical Self

I am sure through all philosophies and belief systems the idea of the ‘Self’ must be more than a bit confusing. The usage of words can only confound further an easy understanding of what transpires when a small ‘s’ self transforms into the big ‘S’ Self. It comes down to simple identification, but until the experiences associated with being the Self are known, then all the self is left with are concepts describing a state of being that it is not familiar with. The words used to label and define these metaphysical and transpersonal experiences can only be interpreted by the brain – and it likely has multiple words and definitions and meanings that it has in memory whose usage may be quite diverse.

I have attached a lot of words to the pre-awakened Self such as ‘fiction’, ‘dreaming’, ‘unconscious’, ‘sleeping’ and ‘scripted’. These words are of little use however if it is the unawakened self that is reading them. I think also it confuses the reader into believing that perhaps there is a reality prior to and after awakening that is completely different. Reality here is the terrain of the body – the perceptions of this reality are what is dramatically changed.

I am going to attempt to break this part of the ontology down so that there is a better understanding of what you are dealing with before, during, and slightly after awakening happens for you. For lack of a better word or phrase, I am going to use the term ‘historical self’ to give you a point of reference for who and what you are. This term has been used before by others, but it encapsulates nicely that there is a continuum of awareness from birth to liberation should you make it that far. I know much of the information here is repeated in other essays, but that repitition will only serve to penetrate into pre-established beliefs.

Before awakening you are a ‘who’. After awakening you are a ‘what’. You will still be ‘who’ you are to your closest friends and loved ones after awakening, but you will be aware of ‘what’ you are, and will identify with that more and more as you evolve. ‘Who’ you are is still necessary as long as you are interacting with other historical selves not awake. Who you are is the long list of attributes accumulated during this lifetime, such as personal information, beliefs, cultural leanings, societal pressures, etc. It is the historical record of your mundane life – who other people see you, define you, and believe that you are. You may be awake and know that this ‘script’ is a work of ‘fiction’ because you and everyone you know has been ‘asleep’.

It is a ‘script’ because for the most part you had little to no input into your own story. Your name, all of the things in your environment, the majority of your beliefs – all these things and more were given to you, labeled for you, and defined for you by your elders, teachers, society, peers and media. Anyone honest with themselves will admit that original thinking is not the norm for the vast majority of humanity. The script is ‘fictional’ because it is based upon a very limited awareness of what reality is, what you really are, and that both are the perception of the brain that the Self is identified with. As long as you reside in the brain, experiencing the world as the body, then that is your point of reference. You are ‘asleep’ because the brain’s point of reference is fictional. It’s reality is a dream.

Reality is a dream because the brain sees the form and not the substance that animates all forms. We know that forms are an illusion because of modern physics. If you had a big enough microscope, and looked into it turning in a 360 degree circle, all you would see is the building blocks of these forms. Every ‘thing’ is made up of the same particles, which are made up of the same subatomic particles, and finally made up of the same whatever that subatomic particles are made up of. We have not made a microscope big enough yet to see the very smallest base building blocks. This means your body is made of the same thing as any object in your field of vision. Every thing has the same material as its compositional parts.

What is real, or of import is what animates all these building blocks into the various shapes that we perceive. What animates these forms or bodies is so diverse that no two things on this planet are exactly the same. To be exactly the same objects have to occupy the same space. It is so much more than no two snowflakes being exactly alike. No two anything are exactly alike. This should make even the daftest of those amongst us curious as to what this animating force is. And this would be the case if we were taught to be that curious about the world around us…but we are only taught to be model citizens and insatiable consumers. There is no other path to waking up besides a recognition and exploration of that animating force. At its basest level it is religion and philosophy. At its middle level it is mysticism and discipleship. At its advanced level it is Self awareness.

The historical self is present throughout the journey to awakening. In its drowsiest awareness we call it the ‘ego’. In its most advanced state of awareness we call it many different labels such as ‘Self, Witness, ‘I Am’, ‘Christ Consciousness’, ‘Higher Self’, etc. It most usually is capitalized in the advanced state of awareness to represent first person identification. When you are experiencing life as the ego it does not mean that you are unconscious in the brain. You are still the one looking through the eyes, and hearing with the ears, etc. The issue is that you are passively allowing the brain to do the interpreting and perceiving for you – not because you are wrong or being bad – but because you have not evolved to more advanced states of awareness.

The self that I was at 14 years old is the very same Self that I am today. I was a small ‘s’ self at 14 years old because my brain did the interpreting and deciding/creating for me. It was normal and natural for it to do so at that stage of my personal development. The Self that I am today does not identify with the body’s perceptions and interpretations. These functions are still taking place in my brain, but I do not identify with them as being ‘Self’ or me. Waking up does not end the brain’s functioning, or its chemical reaction to the external experiences that it perceives. I still experience the body’s anxieties and fears – but I have the ability to not identify with them being my own reactions to the experiences that I am having. There is no way incarnated to disengage from the body’s reality. All you can do is know what belongs to you, and what belongs to the brain.

What makes awakening so difficult is that transition from asleep to awake. During this stage of development reality splits into two. It can be very chaotic for a Self to keep juxtaposing from Self to self – back to Self into self – you get the idea. It is like the Self is shedding a skin which is the passivity it experienced with before. It enters a phase where both its perceptions and the brain’s are shared within the body. You have to have a brain to actively think, too. Just see if you can imagine both the Self and the self – one actively thinking, the other passively allowing the brain to do its thinking – both present. That is the last and most subtle illusion. Because if the Self is present doing the thinking, then the other thinking is not the self – but the brain. Remember that the self and Self are the exact same animating force in a human body – one is just passive, and one is active.

The space that you sat in within the brain for decades is a very comfortable space, and a resting place that is so familiar to the self that the Self can and will return to it in a moment’s distraction and find itself in comforting passivity. It has billions of years practice being passive. This is why disciplines can be so helpful in giving the Self more experiencial time to create a new state of awareness pattern of being active. Evolution will eventually get you awake – it is the direction it is headed towards. But recognizing as early as possible an ideal in being actively aware can and does speed up the process quite a bit. In the least it makes the terrain much less uneven. The mechanics of this process is not very mysterious at all – the historical self identifies less and less with the brain’s perceptions and more and more the Self makes its debut on the world’s stage. The implications of this some are discovering and  exploring right now.

The trick to waking up is to not get too attached to the wording labeling it and defining it. It is a great liberation to see your small ‘s’ self expanded to a big ‘S’ Self. It is amazing to experience and ultimately identify with the animating force behind all of creation rather than the dull interaction with the bodies it enlivens. It is wonderful to set aside everyone else’s definition and interpretation of who you are to become what you have evolved into. It will be a joy to finally be an actual historical Self that has no expiration date or boundaries to what it might explore and discover. The brain can only experience what is in its limited environment. The Self is not limited to how far it might be able to sense and experience and communicate. There really is no comparison between what the brain has to offer and what the Self is once it awakens.

~ DC Vision

What Is The Self?

Billions of years ago I began my journey in a very simple body for whatever initial reason – be it natural or my own desire. I mean honestly…who can remember back that far? My first experience was experience. The joy of being something after being nothing. I do not have the knowledge to tell you conclusively why in our simplest forms we went from experiencing each other to consuming each other, but I believe it had to do with not knowing we were the animating force of the simple bodies we were incarnated in. We were incapable of knowing ourselves as the creating force in these early stages of evolution, so consumption of other bodies was likely to break them down for energy/fuel – the initial response perhaps of a desire for movement. Hard to experience much standing in one spot – ask a tree or a rock.

So our story went from the joy of experiencing to the struggle for survival. Struggle will always produce more evolutionary traction than joy will. We have no memories lifetime to lifetime so the body’s memories become our storyline. The Self is not doing something wrong or bad by believing it is the body. We have been billions of years where the body’s consciousness has been doing the creating of our storylines. The Self believes it is the body’s script even as it conceives that it is not. It gets very confusing for the awakening Self. The separation that takes place when the Self experientially finds out that it has been dreaming the body’s reality – or reading from a script – can be very painful to go through.

There are only two things present. There is a body and there is an animating force. You have to have both in order for consciousness/awareness to be present. The reason why should be obvious enough. In order to experience any thing, you have to be separate from it. For me to sense the frog we both have to have bodies. No body = no experience. The difficult part is in describing what the Self is…because the Self is not a thing in a traditional sense. How do you describe, interact and sense some thing that is not a material thing? We are not even the animating force itself – it emanates from us.

What is Self? I am Self. I am what is looking, hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling out through this body’s sense organs. Awake it is outward active focus. Asleep it is inward passive paying attention. Self awareness. Why is Self capitolized? It denotes referencing first person. I am the first person, and I am the Self. We both are Selves. There is no separate ego or Higher Self. I am Self when I am awake, and I am ego when I am not. Both are me, but in different states of being.

The best way to point to the Self is not to point directly at it – since it is not a thing…but to point at what it emanates and/or knows. Self can be seen vaguely as an aggregate, or totality of your consciousness. If you imagined consciousness as a speck of goo, in the beginning it sat down in a deep valley in the shadows. It could not experience much and thus did not know itself. Over many lifetimes the goo got mobility and senses that allowed it to gain immensely from its experiences. It saw further, traveled wider and experienced more as its evolving size and features climbed the mountain for ever expanding views. Over many more lifetimes it reached the top of the mountain, and went on to explore even taller mountains in the distance. Eventually it will turn inward to explore and then the Self will eventually awaken.

Those experiences are stored within the brain. The more experiences, and the more aware the Self becomes, the more complex the brain and nervous system that is needed to house it. The body is really just an extension of the brain. The body should be seen as a sensual tool – it contains the senses needed for experience…with additional systems added so that it can reproduce, stay healthy, be mobile and be fueled over its decades here in the dream. The brain is where the senses report to, and is where the experiences are recorded and stored. Information pertinent to the Self get passed along to the next brain in its ongoing journey. Data pertinent to the body get passed along in the DNA. The Self life to life is not related to the body  – the body according to its brain capacity and overall genetic health attracts the most resonant available transitioning Self.

We simply forget each lifetime what we experienced. The emergence of the prefrontal lobe has changed the dream dramatically. With language, communications and travel barriers dissolving the Self suddenly has access to other Selves from many different storylines. You can see the evolution of the awareness since the prefrontal lobe has been added. Our identity had always been experienced as our relationship with externals, but for the past several thousand years it has been an inward gaze that leads us to more advanced and eventual Self awareness. We are in these advanced human bodies, looking out into a world populated by other incarnated Selves.

I need a brain and a body to think, to experience, to sense, to be aware and to have separation from all things that I experience. I am immaterial even as I have material to house me. I can contract to a small point where I barely experience, or expand globally where I might experience more than I can express or comprehend. I can feel you half a world away but can only know what I am feeling back here in the body where I actually am sensing you from. My reach is vast, but my ability to think and process experience is right here in this body. The body is not the enemy of the Self – sleep is.

~ DC Vision

The Evolution of Awareness

It stands to reason that if consciousness evolves within forms that evolve, then awareness would unfold along the same route as they do. That route can be broken down into stages using generic terms, albeit heavily baggaged generic terms. The evolution of awareness began in physical awareness, progressed to feminine awareness, is now in masculine awareness, and is moving into causal awareness. Using the terms feminine & masculine will likely trigger some emotional reaction, but try and cast attachment to gender aside.

Obviously the physical stage of awareness’s evolution lasted the longest period. Billions of years in fact, until the advent of warm blooded creatures. Each stage begins at its base level of manifestation, then eventually cresting at a transition into the next stage. I simply am not an expert on pre-warm blooded animal times, so I am not going to pretend that I am. The crest of the physical stage is most likely lost to time, but the insect populations organized around hives , and huge bird flocks are a likely precursor to herds – with a more genetic physical sense of child rearing, rather than the emotional ties of ‘family’ which emerged.

During the transitional time between the physical and feminine stages, family units such as herds emerged, where the collective efforts of the related group assured survival and a better chance of spreading the family genetic code. There was safety in numbers, and to assure there would be an inherent desire to stay grouped, emotions (via neurotransmitters) were the likely addition to the nervous system at the advent of the feminine stage, most notably with the introduction of warm blooded animals, and eventually our human ancestors.

The feminine age crested with the earth & nature based religions, where nature was seen as the creator and punisher, nurturer and mother of all living beings. The times of transition between ages is where the awareness level that is becoming obsolete is mixed in with the emergent properties of the expanded awareness being introduced. During the transition between the feminine stage and the masculine stage several emergent properties took place.

The first was the introduction of spoken and written language, which allowed our group awareness to be passed along in a much more effective way than body language and telepathy. It also allowed one group’s awareness to be introduced and compared to other group’s awareness. Thus comparative religion and borrowing of great storylines was introduced. The other major thing to occur was we went from hunter gatherers to farmers. This all but destroyed the notion of nature or earth being all powerful and in absolute control of the lives of humans. Our intellectual and physical efforts decided whether we would go hungry or not.

During the transition between feminine and masculine awareness Eastern religion was born. I don’t think we know which actual culture was the initial one to rise up as a nation (Egypt, India, or Asia), but Eastern religion definately reflects both the feminine (passive) and the maculine (exploring the mind) awarenesses. Egyptian and Asian mythology and religion seem both feminine and masculine in content, too. Regardless, there is an almost clear path from those  regions to the advent of philosophy and eventually the masculine sky gods of the three major religions of today.

The true heir of the masculine stage of awareness at its crest was not any of the three major religions of this modern world although they still vie for top position. It was and still is science. Science took the mystery out of not only nature, but the mind as well. It broke creation down into its mechanical parts, and is still regarding what mystery that is left as just a matter of time before it is uncovered. Other branches of science have for the most part made religions obsolete but to their most ardent followers

We enter now into the transitional stage between masculine and causal awareness. Causal awareness is just another way of saying ‘awake’. Every age has its truths, which survive the times and tides of awareness stages. This transition is no different as truths amassed over eons of incarnations, and the preceding stages of awareness are all now coming together to form a nearly finished puzzle. The puzzle when viewed as an ontological system looks a lot like an emerging Self aware conscious creator.

There are likely whole sections of libraries covering the life and times of each of these stages of awareness’s evolution which would support this essay, but I am simply not that learned on these topics. I am offering the bare framework for anyone to build off of that wants to explore what we are. The idea of awareness progressing from physical to emotional to mental to causal has been a part of my ontological system for years. It is something I contemplate on often, and always seem to find another piece of the puzzle that reflects this journey consciousness has been on.

The path for all of us is very similar from deep sleep to fully functional awake Self awareness. This may help you to understand why the disparity exists in the human race. Those burdened by deity beliefs have always had to carry that cross – why would a God allow for such inequality? Eastern philosophy tackled this same disparity by inventing the dogma of karma. But what if you just graduated from a higher mammal status and you evolved to the next resonant level of brain – human? You just left the animal kingdom, so you are not going to begin in the human body as a rocket scientist. You are going to begin at the bottom of the human awareness basement.

Evolution moves in one direction only. The animal kingdoms, especially the higher mammals have been decimated over the past few hundred years. The human population have been increasing in astounding numbers in that same time. Souls have to go somewhere, and it has to be progressive. The vast majority of human population growth has taken place in third world nations where many people barely live above the awareness of animals.

We did not have to as an individual descend from apes. There are many mammals and some other species that have rather advanced awareness for the animal kingdom. The idea that we might descend from some filthy apes really bothers some religious people. This is because they are focused on the form itself, and not on the animating force behind it. We did not descend from apes or other higher awareness lesser species – we ascended from less complex brains and nervous systems. We are ascendants, not descendants.

~ DC Vision

The Mechanics of Sleep

Every lifetime we attain more awareness. This awareness is stored in the new brain of the new body upon being incarnated. It is not accessible by the brain. It is only accessible by the Self in an awakened state – whether brief or permanent. The guidance you feel during this lifetime is that innate awareness drawing you out. Evolution happens regardless of whether you want it or not. This means as you go through your life your ‘eyes and ears’ are opening. They are opening to the level they were in in that previous life, and then a few more strides towards awake before the present body is spent.

This innate awareness is your moments of ‘I already know this’. This innate awareness is what allows you to understand more complex experiences in this lifetime. You read a book two years ago but only understand 30% of it. Today you pick up the same book and understand 60% of it. You will resonate more and more with the author over time, and perhaps surpass their awareness. We have all experienced that in our lives. That is an expanded awareness where you perceive more complex information over time without really having done any research in between.

Those clues along the path you did not place there. In fact, here is a little secret…they were there all along – you just did not have the eyes and ears to perceive them. The people you come into contact with that change your life are the same. You experience what and who you are presently capable of experiencing. The rest are background noise and pedestrians that you will not identify with – either because you have not evolved to that awareness, or because you have evolved past it. That is resonance.

In order to wake up, you have to know that you are asleep first, and come to an understanding of the mechanics of what sleep is. The difference between asleep and awake is simply your identity within the dream. The entry point is the brain. But what if that entry point was undeveloped upon arrival? What if you got trapped in there, and as you began the process of dreaming there was no one to tell you that the trap was an illusion? And what if everyone around you was likewise trapped in their brains, too?

You will have arrived at reading this essay with any number of beliefs that you have read or been taught, or overheard in philosophical or spiritual settings. Every word you are familiar with that I use, your brain is going to compare to its ‘correct’ usage that is within its library of remembered words and labels and definitions. This is the brain doing the thinking for the Self. You do not hear or feel the context, you only react to the word usage singular, or concept usage plural.

It will take decades or lifetimes to get to the same state you arrive at by simply experiencially knowing that you are not the body, and experiencing that you can expand beyond its skin at will. You begin by expanding within the body. With your mind (since that is where you are residing), feel the bottom of your right foot. When you understand that command, you should feel the bottom of your foot tingle or heat up. It was easy wasn’t it?

Let’s get down to other locations in the body. With your mind, feel the left kneecap. Once you got that, with your mind feel the tips of your right hand’s fingers. Now feel a half dozen or so other locations of your own choosing. Once you have got these single locations mastered, I want you to feel the bottom of both feet. Once that happens I want you to feel the bottoms of both feet and the top of the head at the same time. And now for the cherry on top…I want you to feel the entire body at once.

The key to being asleep is being located in your head, and the key to waking up is simply to expand into the rest of your body. You can pay attention, or you can focus. Paying attention is passive. Focusing is active. When you meditate you need to focus on something external of the brain – be it a spot on the ceiling, or a candle flame, or your breaths. You actively move your awareness out beyond the brain to the object being focused on. Funny thing happens when you do that…you stop thinking. You stop thinking because you stopped identifying with the brain.

If you just sit there in your head with body in lotus position waiting for something to happen…well you become subject to the nature of the brain. It processes information. If nothing to process presently, then it will go over all the unprocessed thoughts roaming the corridors of your grey matter. You do not have enough hours in your life to wait out all that processing. Trust me. Asleep the brain does the thinking, creating, interpreting and perceiving of reality. The Self identifies with this body thought, creation, interpretation and perception of reality. Thus the illusion. Thus the label of sleep.

~ DC Vision

What Being Awake Is Not

If you read across traditions what the highest attainment is within those traditions, most would-be disciples go back to the mundane world. You have to have a pretty strong calling to want to subject yourself to the asceticism required to achieve advanced awareness. From hours to days to decades of fervent prayer, chanting, meditations, and isolation from the world, there isn’t a whole lot in the brochures to encourage membership in the liberation club. One should ask themselves, however, if these adherents haven’t traded attachment of the world for attachment of soul numbing disciplines and ‘holy’ appearances.

Being awake is not isolation from, nor perpetual battle with temptation and distraction. Often times the disciplines utilised are more physically distracting to actually awakening, than the background appetites and attractions of the body. If you incorporate DNA, the body has had much more experience being an addict of consumption and fear than you have being a master of your domain. You will never be a master of the body. Your only hope is to cease identifying with it. The appetities are not your’s after all. They are part of the dream you were having.

Being awake is not an empty thoughtless mind. The Self cannot experience without a body. The body cannot exist without a Self. It is your body’s attention and your unconscious creative energies that interact within the world of phenomena until you awaken. Capable seekers are discouraged by lofty descriptions of what enlightenment and/or awake is. I once was told I was not awake because I could not tell a man precisely how many jellybeans were in a jar on his livingroom table. “An enlightened person would know the correct answer” , he cackled.

Being awake has nothing to do with the appetites of the body. Being awake has nothing to do with knowing the answers to any questions that are asked of you. Being awake has nothing to do with the health of the body, or the chemical distribution within it. Being awake does not give you the emergent abilities of levitation, mind control, telekinesis, being in two place at the same time, knowing winning lottery numbers, controling aging processes of the body, walking through walls, super human feats of strength, a clear communication channel with alien species, or the undying love and respect of family, friends, and countrymen.

Being awake does give you a quiet peaceful seat in the theater. Being awake does give you choice. Being awake does not mean you never react again. You just react knowing the mechanics of the interaction consciously. Being awake does not mean you never judge another again. You just judge from an awareness of knowing the other’s script. Being awake does not mean never feeling sadness, fear, or anger ever again. Each experience has an appropriate conscious reaction, which is a liberation from the unconscious dream reactions.

Being awake is a state of presence. Simple mechanics – you are either identifying with the brain’s version of reality, or the Self’s more presently informed version. This means that not only enlightenment, but also waking up are just a slight shift in perception – from body to Self. This should not take lifetimes, or decades, or even years. That prefrontal lobe has evolved our awareness to where it can take a moment to experience it…that is the potential of this moment. The concept comes before the awareness.

Before enlightenment, you chop wood and lug water. After enlightenment you chop wood and lug water. After awakening, you pay someone else to chop the wood and lug the water while you listen to the music in our chat room.

~ DC Vision

The Knowing

The problem with explaining what being awake is to a general audience is that the abilities and perceptions once awake will vary from individual to individual. The most affective way for you to awaken is to be experiential…that is to say to be your own teacher by exploring and then contemplating what you have discovered. To write what my perceptions of being awake are, and for you to seek out those same perceptions means it is no longer about you, but about my awareness. With that in mind, please see this only as a map of landmarks, but not the terrain itself.

It was a few months after I had awoken before I even was aware of there being something different about me. You have to keep in mind that being awake is the eventual natural state of the Self, so being myself seemed ordinary to me. The Self is aligned with the present so my ability to look back and compare to a former version of me had already greatly diminished. I acquired my first computer soon before awakening, and coming into contact with people of varying degrees of awareness I finally had something tangible I could compare my own journey to.

Prior to this I only had experience with the spiritualism community in New England for a few years, and my travels teaching and healing afterwards to go by. The spiritualism community was barely above an entry level of awareness, and my students were about the same. So for those pre-computer years I was actually experimenting as I went along. As my online profile attests to I am not a follower of any discipline, teacher, philosophy or religion. This includes reading books about spiritual and metaphysical topics. I simply had no background to lean on in those early years prior to awakening.

It was during conversations in chatrooms years after getting my computer that I got clues that I was not like the people I was talking to. For one thing there did not seem to be any original thinkers in the rooms. It did not take long to realise that I was hearing the same definitions, labels, and words to describe people’s beliefs. It did not matter which room or online forum I went into, the belief systems were all nearly rote repeating of what had been read or heard. If I even ventured a few sentences of what I had experienced I was pounced on immediately by debaters parroting either dusty disciplines or New Age pabulum.

After a few years of attempting to interact with other seekers online my mother saved me from drowning in discouragement and disillusionment. I was in North Carolina at the time and she asked me to return to Maine to be her caretaker. Returning there and having little responsibilities day to day I began to contemplate on what I had experienced and learned over the prior 7 years. There was an abandoned strip copper mine 25 miles away where I could be miles away from the nearest human and could think out loud for hours a day in peace.

It was at the copper mine that I first discovered that I was awake. The waking process has several stages that I have experienced thus far. The first was the ‘knowing’, the second was the ‘emergent properties’, and the third was ‘perpetual wakefulness’. I know of only a few people that are awakening, and like I did they began in the ‘knowing’ stage. This means there is at least a likelihood that these stages may be the same for everyone that awakens. There may be some or many others that are awake, too, but I can only speak of the ones that I know of.

The ‘knowing’ stage is exactly what it sound like. Information seems to explode in your awareness at blinding speeds. It is like the big bang theory – not the old version where scientists believed it was a singularity that exploded outward – but the newer thought that the emergence of matter in the universe happened throughout it simultaneously. This stage of epiphany after epiphany is tough to keep up with. Your Self is essentially coming into the present moment with all it knows. Prior to this the brain coughed up information as it was needed…oftentimes incorrectly.

Now with the Self awake, it was doing the inventory of its previous aggregate awareness of lifetimes that had been dormant. This was a strange sensation because today’s truths and epiphanies were usurped the next day with more expanded truths and epiphanies. I learned very early on not to cling to any truth until it had been processed completely. It was during this ‘knowing’ stage that I became aware of my first few properties of wakefulness. The first was I could not remember the last time that I had a chatterbox mind. The chattering mind had simply vanished, and in hindsight likely happened upon awakening.

The mechanics of the chatterbox ceasing was simple enough. I was no longer perceiving and discerning with the brain. The awake Self perceives outward to the object, and gets information from the object itself. The sleeping Self is passive and before the sleeping Self can even initiate contact with the object the brain is busy comparing and predicting according to past interactions. This means the interaction with the object is clouded by prejudgment and predetermination. We have all been predator and prey using this obsolete discernment.

All of the information needed during interaction with another object is contained within the awareness of that object. Self can naturally see and hear the awareness of any animate object, including the deception or honesty of the interaction. Animals know the moment I am scanning them for information. People unconsciously pull their energies inward when being dishonest. It is more accurate than a lie detector test. A perpetually awake Self can feel the contractions and expansions of emitted energies of any individual regardless of imagined defenses. There are no walls or masks able to keep a perpetually awake Self from seeing the sleeping self beneath.

The other property of being awake that I came to realise months afterwards was the absence of boredom. Like most people I had always suffered from boredom my whole life, but I could not remember the last time I had felt bored. In hindsight, this too likely took place upon awakening as I was no longer identifying with the brain and its incessant need to be processing information. These two properties alone should be very sobering to the casual reader. I have been many years now without having been bored – ever. And for many years now I have had blessed silence between my ears. When I, the Self thinks, the voice is there. But when I cease thinking, the voice ceases too…because it my Self having the inner monlogue, and not the brain prattling on about unprocessed information unconsciously.

For me, the ‘knowing’ stage lasted about 6 months to a year. I cannot pinpoint the exact time as it ended as abruptly as it had started. It seemed as if I had finished processing what awareness I presently had and then from that moment on whenever I interacted there was a ‘knowing’ that was present that had not been there before. As a conversation was taking place there was present inner information regarding the topic, and if something came up that I was not sure of I would be silent for a moment, and the ‘knowing’ regarding what I had been previously unsure of would appear in my mind.

Over time I learned to trust these ‘knowings’ as they have most often proven accurate. The Self is not content was possibilities, however. If information did not feel correct then I would feel the need to contemplate on it later. During these contemplations I would ask questions of the information, and then ask questions of the answers I came up with…and so on until I ran out of questions to ask. That means I would tap my present awareness. The Self is not all knowing, no matter how much the unknowing try to convince.

The ‘knowing’ stage, just like the other stages continues to this day. Evolution being what it is, I on whatever inner or outer cycles have my awareness expanded – done to me, not by me. It most likely is a mechanism that when the present awareness is fully realised, then new awareness emerges to be processed, too. This means a new rush of tuths and epiphanies descend upon me sometimes. These days that ‘download’ runs in the background. I know better than to jump at any ‘aha’ moment.

These expansions are like your eyes and ears gaining more ability so that you see a clearer picture, and hear a clearer truth contained in interactions and communications. I became aware very early on that I did not ‘do’ anything to expand my awareness – it was a naturally occurring phenomena. It is my opinion that the Self never ceases expanding in awareness – just as the universe and possibilities are endless, so too should be the experiencing and discovering.

~ DC Vision

Retiring From Your Historical Role

It is tough to be liberated carrying a truckload of baggage around with you. All of that luggage was for living conditions that are obsolete now, but who has written a manual for the fictional man that finds himself awake? The only place you can comfortably be an awake Self is by yourself. Any interaction requires masks, and a certain degree of fiction. All the mountain of boxes and baggage that you have attached to the old you has got to be sorted and sifted and set to the curb for the trash man to collect.

Luckily the most important part of the sorting has been done without your conscious approval. That is the ‘knowing’ stage where all of the pertinent information has been collected and stored in your awareness for quick retrieval. You likely will be pleased with the new filing system, and how blazingly fast your truth is presented to you. The problem is that you cannot enjoy this new freedom in a body buried in baggage. So let’s consciously pick up that script, and have a look at it.

The title of the script is ‘personality’. Every human has the same titled script, with slightly different stage scenery and actors, but they are interpreting the same story…how can we keep ‘reality’ (the Theater of Experience) safe and predictable? How can we coexist once we become aware of each other? How do we sort out who and what is benevolent, and who and what is malevolent? There is a room between your ears where two script writers are employed from birth to produce the stage play. One is named DNA and the other is named Experience. When Experience does not know, DNA supplies the storyline. Experience will modify the storyline as he gains information from the theater.

The stage has no purpose unless there are actors to be on it. You are an actor by default if you are asleep. The scriptwriters are there by default because an asleep actor is a huge liability on any stage. The stage is actually populated by understudies…real actors only come along during award ceremony season. But to keep things simple we will just say everyone is an acclaimed actor – knowing that most everyone is really parroting the great actors that came before them.

In the blink of an eye an actor suddenly finds themselves in the theater seats when they wake up. Waking from a vivid, highly polished and produced stage play can be disorientating. You still have a tight clutch of the script you arrived with, and for some time you find yourself getting out of your seat and getting back on the stage. The other actors seem to perceive you as a walk on now, though. Your spotlight role seems to have been written out of the storyline. To make matters worse you have forgotten some of your acting chops – so that it no longer feels natural for you to play that role any more.

For the first few weeks and months, and perhaps years you can find yourself somewhere between that comfy theater seat and the stage. But every trip to the stage offers less allure. It just isn’t as fun to pretend to be an actor anymore, is it? The problem is, now that you are becoming what you are, what do you do with who you were. You still have to work within that theater after all, as long as you are housed in a body that only identifies with the theater. And everyone you have known, do know, and will know are also acting in the same theater.

Is there a way for an awakened Self to assimilate into this staged world? The only way I have been able to be in the world, and of it at the same time is to know what belongs to me, and what belongs to the historical role that I had played. Being that historical role means wearing masks. You simply are not going to be able to coexist with the dreaming populace being what you are. They will not resonate with you.

Being awake does not guarantee a permanent seat in the theater. Those in the first few weeks, months or even years will find themselves slipping out of an awakened perception and find their feet on someone’s stage, including their own historical role subjectively. This is normal and a simple mindful adjustment back to Self returns you to wakefulness. Judging yourself or anyone else is meaningless. It is simply what it is. The script during these times is really pared down to its core behavioral patterns. Most likely you will only be tripped up by the very best roles you ever acted in.

The best signs of you approaching a perpetual state of awake is by how often and how severe these scripted moments have become. Over time they lessen in severity and frequency like a fading echo. There is nothing for you to do during this phase except acknowledge what is your’s and what is not your’s as you become aware of it. Detachment and refusal to be on anyone’s stage is the quickest way to override the acting addiction.

The choice to retire from your historical role will mean those closest to you will likely not embrace the new you. These are tough times for most, because this is really one of the last choices you will make regarding your evolution. Do I continue to live the lie, or do I refuse and suffer the consequences? Only you know the answer to that question. I warn you though that there is the potential of holding that place for another lifetime.

~ DC Vision

The Final Piece of the Puzzle

All religions, disciplines and philosophies claim to have some measure of truth, and yet they approach it from a human perspective. The human form has only been present for a few hundred thousand years. This means that 99.9% of the history of evolving consciousness is nearly completely left out of the concepts of the followers of these beliefs and faiths. At best they skim over those parts or just leave it to the mysteries of aloof deities. This is the problem with following dusty philosophies written in the times of superstition and paganistic worship of all things external. Humans have been looking in the mirror and drawing their ontological systems based on the reflection seen. It would seem this should be a huge gap in our understanding of what we are. It has been.

Prior to the prefrontal lobe and awareness of awareness ‘we’ were part of that world that you experienced from the your senses. Within the genes of the body we were incarnated into was a blueprint and a map in order for each being to have a shot at survival, based upon the tried and true of previous go rounds. If you were the chosen meal of a number of predators you tended to breed quickly and have larger litters. If you were somewhere along the top of the food chain you had fewer offspring but longer lives. Nature is a conglomeration of trade offs. Everyone gets their time in the sun to figure out the big puzzle being put together. Of course it took a whole lot of successions of bodies to get to this point of reading my essay, so lives prior to these big brains were based upon what the body needed to get an edge in the world, and thus be enabled to climb the ladder to more grandiose viewpoints.

A whole lot of the mystery of why we are here can be explained if you were to see the puzzle from the perspective of the consciousness, instead of the perception of the body that houses it. From the experience of consciousness over the eons as it has been here doing its thing, a long line of more complex bodies have arisen with more complex brains and nervous systems to house all this awareness that accumulates lifetime to lifetime. None of this is created consciously. When you fill the cup (the present brain), a new cup (the emerging new form) is created naturally. The awareness dictates what the form will be that houses it, not fickle gods or personal choices. It is a natural process where the clothes are designed to eventually fit – baggy at first with room to grow. You do not get to decide which human body you will incarnate into, your evolution does.

The reason you are dreaming is because you experience the world from the body’s senses. What you identify with as ‘reality’ is the relationship your body has with this world of bodies. Because you were still unaware of your Self, evolution saw fit to give the body consciousness, too…so that the awakening dreamer might survive the dream. There is not one consciousness involved with these animated bodies…there is two.

The fact that the body and what animates it is experienced as one ‘personality’ is an inheritance of limited perceptions. It is not a matter of thinking wrongly. Remember, we just got these prefrontal lobes, and thus awareness of awareness recently. Prior to these nifty new brains the only thing we focused on was food, shelter, offspring and leisure activities. After these nifty new brains some are still at the animal level of awareness, albeit with a little more panache. The human body is a mammal after all, and you have to climb the evolutionary ladder as long as it takes before you grow into your potential.

The cat is the same as you are, only less of it. It is consciousness housed in a body. But your incarnations afforded you a lot more awareness, and thus a larger brain. The amount of awareness might be a product of the number of lives experienced, the efficiency or health of the brains incarnated into, or perhaps just dumb luck of being in the right place at the right time more often than the consciousness in the cat’s body. It will eventually go through as many bodies and increasingly complex brains as it takes to be where you are today…moving on yet still to wherever this procession is progressing to.

You are the consciousness within that body. Once you become aware of this fact experiencially you are given a new, separate identity which I and others label as Self. There are plenty of other labels out there so choose one that is comfy and helps you read this essay with the least amount of agitation…because you are about to have your world turned inside out. Self is the amount of consciousness that is able to discover, identify and be it Self. Before that awareness you are just some measure of unaware dreamer.

This is not your dream, and you did not awaken to take over the reigns of a dream. This dream’s purpose was to get you to experientially knowing it as a fictional reality…and become aware of yourself as a caged, passive, impotent creator and experiencer. Once you have woken up the dream has served its purpose. All of the world’s bodies and the consciousness that is housed in them is evolving along side of you…not to create the dream, but to escape from it. There is nothing redeemable about this shared dream aside from the end results of it – otherwise we are all (from top of the food chain to the bottom) incarnated consciousness forced to feed upon the bodies that houses other incarnated consciousness – forgetting our shared pain and suffering by being forced to contribute to it.

The only time the Self gets freedom is when the body sleeps, then the role of creator becomes the Self’s. The problem is that you are no more aware dreaming while the body is sleeping, then you are as a passenger in the body while it is awake. The Self unconsciously creates a body and an environment to experience within when it does the dreaming. Both the dream body and the dream environment are inorganic (not living matter). Both organic and inorganic material is made up of the same building blocks. The difference in the sleeping dream is the Self becomes the animating energy rather than the breaking down of foods. The script it acts out, because it is all the Self knows prior to awakening is the body’s.

The body and environment of the Self’s sleeping dream are as real as the body and environment of the body back in the bed. The only difference is in the body’s dream everything is animated by other incarnated consciousnesses. In the Self’s dream, however, the Self is the only consciousness present – albeit projecting ‘others’ into its storylines. What do you suppose would happen if you stopped trying to live in the body’s reality, and evolved to where you could create your own reality? What would happen if an awake Self woke up, or became lucid in its own sleeping dream, instead of being a character in the body’s dream? My guess is that the body’s dream would finally be over for you after 15 billion years.

If you became lucid in your own sleep dream, it would no longer be a dream. It would be entirely your creation. It could change at your whim. You would finally get to exercise free will, instead of dreaming whether or not there was such a thing. This created universe would be your’s to explore, discover and expand upon. Isn’t this what the journey from pond scum to prefrontal lobes was all about? There is no amount of being awake in this world that will ever make this your world…look around you – all you will see are other bodies…animated or dead. You cannot be creator here. You can only be co-creator. And those other creators are dreaming alongside your dream unconsciously.

The idea of being a conscious creator seems far fetched given we don’t have any point of reference for it. But that is the irony – we create a form and environment every evening when the body sleeps. Unfortunately this creation activity is manifested just as it is during your ‘waking’ life…unconsciously. Like anything evolving you have to grow into that new pair of shoes. Here is a truth to get you pointed in the right direction…the concept always precedes the awareness. Thought, conscious or not, creates.

If the body’s dream makes more sense to you than all I can do is say best of luck within its parameters. If it makes more sense to you once this final puzzle piece of my ontological system is in place, then as a creator you know what to be thinking about. If you should become Self aware and then find yourself lucid within your own sleep dream…don’t forget to say thank you, and enjoy the transformation from dreamer to creator. Presently, I have not evolved to this ability…but I can feel it closing in.

~ DC Vision

An Open Letter To The Body

I have this vision of us as a child, reaching for your mother in a moment of pain – likely an ear abscess, which you were prone to the first 11 years of our life – and not only being denied comfort, but being physically struck by the hand of a woman that was exhausted and discouraged. She was completely unaware of the mechanics of behavioral patterns in their initial stage, so she had no idea that her action set in motion decades of layers of emotional and mental health issues. Had she known I believe she never would have struck us. Had she known she likely would have found the private space to forgive herself and the ancestral line that passed on all manner of cold, dark and complex self loathing and self denial.

I do not want to leave this place without ending this nightmare. You have tirelessly assisted me in my service work for decades now, without the healing process completing for you. I have been able to gaze under the masks and behind the walls of strangers, but have not pierced the innermost place where your fiction was produced. Bodies are related, so I really have had no mother or father, siblings or children. The Self has existed long before this incarnation, and will exist long after it, so all relatives in this life are your relations.

I had spent several weeks in deep contemplation back in 2003, right after I had become aware of my awakening, masterfully breaking down the relationship that we had with your mother and father. The idea at the time was to come to a fully realized understanding of their actions over the years that I had clear memories of, and once the mechanics of the experiences were discovered, to release the obsolete feelings still present in us in an act of forgiveness. I knew that true forgiveness was not possible unless there was true understanding of why bad things happen between otherwise good people.

Back in 2003 I was not aware of there being a ‘core’ pattern to our creative and behavioral life. I was still out on the arms of the spiral, having come to a healthier awareness of my relationship between me and the general population, on to friendships and relatives, on to lovers and influential intimates, and then at the time immediate family members. I was not aware that the spiral continued to the relationship between me and you, and finalized with me standing before a mirror to know my Self. I have seen this same spiral of relationship awareness with others I have worked with over the years, where it is processed from the external to the core of the internal.

It was easy having found forgiveness for your parents. You cannot blame people for what they dream. We even came to some level of forgiveness between me and you, as I could not blame you for what you dreamed. It is only recently after having finished with the spiral and the mirror years ago that I find myself retracing my steps back to when it was just me and you. I have come to know something now that I did not know back then, and I ask forgiveness from you for my ignorance. I was so busy establishing what I was in relationship to you, and how I was superior to you, that I forgot to help you forgive yourself. I clinically called your pain the ‘script’. I objectified your fiction so it was not my reality, but left you to continue to suffer while I perfected my detachment from your attachments.

The process of detachment worked, so why bother with the body’s fiction? I was still seeing your behavioral patterns rise and fall, but the more awake I got the less frequent and less severe were the side effects on me. I was on call around the clock to serve other Selves in their awakening process. I did my healings on their bodies to make their Self more comfortable. I proclaimed numerous times that there are two consciousnesses present in every ‘person’ – the Self and the body – but like a xenophobe I shunned bodies as the distasteful base vehicles we were forced to be hosted by. What a fool I have been. You were not my burden. It is only because of your amazing complexity and perfection that I am even able to sit here and express this awareness.

I do not know for sure whether that vision of us being struck by your mother was a real memory, or just your/our imagination…but I do know this…you did not deserve to be struck in your time of need. You were not the one at fault. You know you can forgive your mother for striking you. Is there any way that I can convince you to forgive yourself for perpetuating a script of fear of rejection, attraction of limitation, need of control over your environment and having pushed away anyone that ever dared to love you? Can you not see that one possible unconscious act was a domino that fell into another and another. Your mother did not push the first domino – I would imagine that initial causal act goes back hundreds, perhaps thousands of years.

Your fears are an inheritance, not created by you, and not repeated by you consciously. I know you, having been along for the ride all these years. I know your love is like a supernova poised to explode at any moment. I see how you have cried for everyone but yourself…not infrequently, but every day when you witness suffering. I know the angel on the left shoulder has most always won the fight with the devil on the right one. I know how many years you have quietly without any fanfare helped those in need without expectations of reward. I know how very much you deserve to be loved, and crave it, too.

Your mother is not the one continuing to strike you. That action happened once. Every strike after that is what you attracted to yourself in hopes of understanding her actions that day. You deserved to be picked up that day and comforted and coddled for the wonderful miracle that you were. Stop believing the lie. Please forgive me for playing a role in your creation of neglect and being loathed. I will not read from that obsolete script ever again.

It has been an honor to travel the thousands upon thousands of miles of road that we trekked down. We were quite the team in all of those adventures and learning experiences. I am still in awe of your courage and fortitude over the years. You had every right to have withdrawn into a tight ball hosting the likes of me – but you carried on, nervous albeit, but ever ready for a challenge. I know our time together grows short. When my time does arrive to go alone into the mystery that faces me, I will never forget this lifetime with you.

~ DC Vision

Perpetually Awake

Everything posted on this website is designed to encompass your awareness. It is intended to coax you awake if you are capable of it. I had to go through all of the different experiences associated with waking up which are described in the essays. Because I am an original thinker and a man that found experience of more value than opinions, some of my discoveries led to awareness that was uncharted in the consensus human beliefs. I have endeavored to include as much of that information as I found language for in these writings.

I have been adverse to sharing my awareness because I did not want others comparing themselves to me. Being Self aware and awake may manifest in very different ways for you. The writings on this website represent a state that I have evolved past many years ago. The website was not designed to describe me at the time David (Aerist) & I created the essays and the space to house them. This was to be a beacon for anyone that found themselves past where the traditional human beliefs left off, as a guide for anyone entering into the emergent Self awareness of our times.

I woke up in 2003. I rose from unconsciousness in a bed where my body had evacuated its wastes. I had been dying of terminal cancer that saw me lose 90 pounds in 6 weeks. It started in my prostate 6 months earlier, then had spread into my lungs and stomach. An educated guess would be metastasized prostate cancer, which most often spreads to the stomach and lungs and has a life expectancy of 3-6 months. I did not seek medical help because every time I thought of it I felt a very strong ‘NO’, and that ‘yes’ and ‘no’ I had learned to trust and follow without hesitation. I was at peace and ready to go.

It was not until months after I awoke that I knew that there was something different about me. The first thing to come to my attention was after talking to a friend and them stating they wished that they could stop the chatter in their brain. I sat and listened to the silence in my skull and upon reflection could not remember the last time I had heard my chatterbox mind. A few days later I likewise realized that I could not recall the last time I had felt boredom. I was just sitting watching the birds at the feeder and realized hours had passed and I had never lost interest or enjoyment in the activity. It has been many years since either the chatterbox mind or boredom has paid me a visit.

Over the next few months I began to notice a lot of things about myself that were peculiar given my recollections of the times before I had been ill. I had already been teaching about the difference between ‘awake’ and ‘asleep’ for several years, but had assumed I was already there because of my abilities and noticeable presence. But even my presence had changed. I walked into a large department store one day feeling really at peace, when after shopping for some time I stopped and went into a transpersonal state. I was so deeply at peace and when I slowly came out of it I noticed there were several people nearby that were just standing there staring blankly towards me, mouths drooped open with a glow about them. I figured out soon after that I needed to ‘wear a mask’ when I went out into public.

More and more I found myself wearing energy masks around other people. My presence was having a strong effect on strangers and loved ones alike. Either they would go into the states like I described or they would suddenly find themselves with spiritual abilities that they neither wanted nor asked for. About the same time I became hyper aware of other people. I could see through them like they were transparent. I became aware when they were lying, when they were seeking emotional vampirism and when they were challenging me regardless of their words. It was about this time that I began to say to students ‘words can lie, but energy cannot’.

Although I knew I could make a handsome living as a Master Teacher & Master Healer I did not want the attention. My service work has always been secondary to my own evolution. I began the contemplation discipline early on after waking up and some days saw me 8-12 hours into one. I just didn’t have the time to serve full time and explore my awareness full time, too. There always seemed to be a nice balance between going into the world to serve for durations, then receding inward for hermetic periods. The serving always seemed to make me aware of what abilities were obsolete and what new emergent abilities were present.

It is hard to imagine for someone not awake the loneliness and burden of being close to anyone else when you are awake. No one was capable of knowing what I was and what I was becoming. But I knew everyone through and through – every sordid detail of their self-loathing and petty emotional baggage towards others. I knew their lies and their pain and how much they secretly adored the suffering of themselves and others. I have had to endure their clinginess one moment and their outright rage at me seeing past their defenses the next.

Here I sit now perpetually awake. I am still unable to be in the company for very long of anyone that is not in the least awakening. Even then I am in the company of someone that is at a level of awareness that I was many years ago. I have not found the companionship of peers. I know what people will say before they say it. I know exactly where they are standing, and what they have in their baggage. I know what they will let go of and what they will fight to preserve with every ounce of their fiction. I know their lies and how they think they can hide them.

Nobody knows me. Not because there is anything to hide. Not because I am trying to be or even am mysterious. It’s just that no one has ever met me. To meet me you have to be perpetually awake, too. No exceptions to that. I am not interested in proving this to anyone. I do not want the attention, because any amount of exposure beyond the humble blog and chat room means that I will have to spend the remainder of my life defending an awareness that cannot be defended. You cannot defend subjective experiences.

As I sit and type this I am aware of everything in my environment, and many things in the global environment. I can feel all sentient life nearby me – can tell when an animal is out and about. Can feel my cat’s ease or unease. Can feel people as they think about me – a little more effort and I can nearly pinpoint who it is and what they want. I am perpetually awake. This means I am presently in the transpersonal state of awareness at all times. There is a separation without effort between me the Self and the environment and body I reside within. I think actively. I experience objectively. I am this I am subjectively.

I am on a channel of my own. My reality barely resembles the reality of the average citizen. My brain gave up on safe and predictable a long time ago. I am exploring uncharted depths of Self awareness that have no point of reference in this world. Much to my surprise and genuine joy I discovered there was one last incarnated pinnacle to attain…this is my destination now. All evidence points to the Self waking up to its creative nature and the powers inherent. All evidence points to emerging Self awareness triggering new forms to house it in. I am not waiting passively for that ascension…I am actively exploring the true meaning of the ideal ‘free will’. Should an atheist ever endeavor to become a god, then he must begin to think like one.

My gaze is cast beyond what the physical eyes are capable of – a location neither spatial nor controlled by clocks. The head is often tilted as if listening to some distant sound waves, but the Self hears a language and a music the body and those who identify with the body know nothing of. I explore ever outward and inward to touch hidden sacred grounds where hearts fear to tread and where the human imagination is mocked for its littleness.  I already know that you are unable to offer me any ontological system as Self evident as the one I have left behind. The reason for me returning here is fast approaching its conclusion. I am anonymous but to a few…as it should be.

~ DC Vision