It is tough to be liberated carrying a truckload of baggage around with you. All of that luggage was for living conditions that are obsolete now, but who has written a manual for the fictional man that finds himself awake? The only place you can comfortably be an awake Self is by yourself. Any interaction requires masks, and a certain degree of fiction. All the mountain of boxes and baggage that you have attached to the old you has got to be sorted and sifted and set to the curb for the trash man to collect.
Luckily the most important part of the sorting has been done without your conscious approval. That is the ‘knowing’ stage where all of the pertinent information has been collected and stored in your awareness for quick retrieval. You likely will be pleased with the new filing system, and how blazingly fast your truth is presented to you. The problem is that you cannot enjoy this new freedom in a body buried in baggage. So let’s consciously pick up that script, and have a look at it.
The title of the script is ‘personality’. Every human has the same titled script, with slightly different stage scenery and actors, but they are interpreting the same story…how can we keep ‘reality’ (the Theater of Experience) safe and predictable? How can we coexist once we become aware of each other? How do we sort out who and what is benevolent, and who and what is malevolent? There is a room between your ears where two script writers are employed from birth to produce the stage play. One is named DNA and the other is named Experience. When Experience does not know, DNA supplies the storyline. Experience will modify the storyline as he gains information from the theater.
The stage has no purpose unless there are actors to be on it. You are an actor by default if you are asleep. The scriptwriters are there by default because an asleep actor is a huge liability on any stage. The stage is actually populated by understudies…real actors only come along during award ceremony season. But to keep things simple we will just say everyone is an acclaimed actor – knowing that most everyone is really parroting the great actors that came before them.
In the blink of an eye an actor suddenly finds themselves in the theater seats when they wake up. Waking from a vivid, highly polished and produced stage play can be disorientating. You still have a tight clutch of the script you arrived with, and for some time you find yourself getting out of your seat and getting back on the stage. The other actors seem to perceive you as a walk on now, though. Your spotlight role seems to have been written out of the storyline. To make matters worse you have forgotten some of your acting chops – so that it no longer feels natural for you to play that role any more.
For the first few weeks and months, and perhaps years you can find yourself somewhere between that comfy theater seat and the stage. But every trip to the stage offers less allure. It just isn’t as fun to pretend to be an actor anymore, is it? The problem is, now that you are becoming what you are, what do you do with who you were. You still have to work within that theater after all, as long as you are housed in a body that only identifies with the theater. And everyone you have known, do know, and will know are also acting in the same theater.
Is there a way for an awakened Self to assimilate into this staged world? The only way I have been able to be in the world, and of it at the same time is to know what belongs to me, and what belongs to the historical role that I had played. Being that historical role means wearing masks. You simply are not going to be able to coexist with the dreaming populace being what you are. They will not resonate with you.
Being awake does not guarantee a permanent seat in the theater. Those in the first few weeks, months or even years will find themselves slipping out of an awakened perception and find their feet on someone’s stage, including their own historical role subjectively. This is normal and a simple mindful adjustment back to Self returns you to wakefulness. Judging yourself or anyone else is meaningless. It is simply what it is. The script during these times is really pared down to its core behavioral patterns. Most likely you will only be tripped up by the very best roles you ever acted in.
The best signs of you approaching a perpetual state of awake is by how often and how severe these scripted moments have become. Over time they lessen in severity and frequency like a fading echo. There is nothing for you to do during this phase except acknowledge what is your’s and what is not your’s as you become aware of it. Detachment and refusal to be on anyone’s stage is the quickest way to override the acting addiction.
The choice to retire from your historical role will mean those closest to you will likely not embrace the new you. These are tough times for most, because this is really one of the last choices you will make regarding your evolution. Do I continue to live the lie, or do I refuse and suffer the consequences? Only you know the answer to that question. I warn you though that there is the potential of holding that place for another lifetime.
~ DC Vision